Your chip bag is too noisy? Really?



Well, Sun Chips is kissing their biodegradable bag goodbye. It \”annoys\” Americans because it’s too what? Too loud? If it weren’t so pathetic, it would be laughable. In an age where people have intolerable levels of sound blasted at them 24 hours a day, the complaint that a chip bag is too loud just shows how ridiculous we have all become.

I am personally annoyed because I have to take earplugs to the movies on the rare occasions that I go because the noise level literally makes my eardrum flutter. I\’m annoyed when I get rattled out of my seat sitting at a red light because some joker has enough bass booming in his car to emulate cannon shot. And I\’m really annoyed at having to listen to everybody\’s personal lives everywhere I go because they are screaming into their phones or headsets in public places.  Nearly every human being in America has some device planted in or against his/her ear at all times and most talk so loud you have to conclude they are all making themselves deaf. And yet, the innocent, earth-friendly compostable chip bag is too loud.

I give up. Really. Are there no responsible grown ups left? Are Americans really willing to show how selfish, ridiculous, petty and uncommitted they are to the world at large? I guess so. My mother used to call it “showing my bare bottom” when I made a fool of myself in front of others.

To our readers who hale from other shores, I personally apologize for my fellow countrymen and women. We’re sorry, but in the end, all we really care about is our little insignificant selves. Let me add that if I were King, every chip bag, soda can, ice cream packet, candy bar, double cheeseburger with bacon, etc. would be loud, obtrusive, insulting, difficult to open, overpriced – anything that would make people stop stuffing their faces with the junk they so love to call “food.” How about a voice chip that calls them fat, accuses them of overloading the healthcare system, destroying the delicate ecological balance of the planet, mowing over rainforests, poisoning their own air and water, giving their kids diabetes and cancer and generally “messing in their own nest?” How about treating junk food eaters like we treat smokers?

Eco Pulse™, a baseline survey of all consumers’ perceptions that identifies how they define green, which green product categories and attributes are most appealing and how sustainable initiatives impact corporate image, spent time and money to conclude that mainstream American consumers value their personal comfort more than they value the environment and that 75% of us wouldn’t be willing to give up our “stuff” even if we thought (knew) it was harming the environment. I know it’s nice to have “scientific” statistics, but all they had to do was look around them. It’s pretty darn obvious that the environment is “somebody else’s problem” as far as Americans are concerned.