Schools have always sought to supervise students and their teachers, with a teaching method long based on authority and discipline. However, pedagogical knowledge, psychological knowledge, public policies as well as social transformations (mass schooling, rise of individual rights, new educational expectations) have largely contributed to transforming educational standards and the way in which we interpret, among other things, failures to attend .

In a competitive environment where individual responsibility is increasingly emphasized, school expectations can lead to stress, fatigue, and exhaustion, leading children and adolescents to withdraw from the school scene. This phenomenon, which combines psychological symptoms with social difficulties, reflects contemporary transformations in schools.

Although there is much research on the ways in which school problems are produced and experienced, few studies focus specifically on school refusal. The aim here was to focus on parents’ experiences with this disorder, which has many names: school phobia, school withdrawal, anxious school refusal, school maladjustment syndrome, school anorexia, student apathy , etc.

This topic thus raises several questions: how is this disorder perceived, reported and handled by families? What remedies are envisaged in the face of the suffering of the students concerned? Our study is based on a qualitative approach, founded on 23 in-depth interviews with parents , mainly mothers from the middle and upper classes.

Difficulty entering the school framework

Phobic disorders are a source of suffering for parents who feel both forced to justify themselves and helpless to enroll their children in settings that are not too demeaning. Phobia is generally described as psychological suffering and an inadequacy/maladjustment of emotions and behaviors to social and academic expectations . It is defined by the mothers interviewed as an “incapacity” and an “insufficiency” to fully exercise the profession of student.

It is the very prevention of action and engagement in school activities that is evoked. Phobia is seen as a combination of thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and relationships with others perceived as “unbalanced” and “painful.” Mothers speak of “discomfort,” “fear,” “anxiety,” a “breakdown,” “disengagement,” and “slowing down.”

All the speeches share a common denominator: the variety of disorders, both physical and emotional, such as instability, inhibition, isolation, lack of sociability, anger, headaches, nausea… The inability to establish and maintain positive relationships with peers, family or teachers is another major characteristic. Fears associated with school tests, difficulties in accepting the reality of responsibility and personal autonomy, fears of reacting negatively to new experiences, lack of self-confidence, critical and demanding postures, the inability to express one’s needs and explain one’s expectations… are all individual failings highlighted by parents.

Poor stress management, fears of peer reactions, and the fear of failure are also attitudes that raise concerns. The subjective challenges of certain school experiences, such as being teased by peers or teachers’ incomprehension, can lead to withdrawals and lowering of academic ambitions. From immediate and lasting stigmatization to minor capacity failures, mothers reveal the full range of attitudes and behaviors that are perceived negatively today.

Child’s doubts and lack of confidence

According to those surveyed, three main categories of failures or criticisms addressed by the institution to young people can be identified.

• First of all, self-criticism which refers to the lack of schoolwork and serious commitment to educational tasks (“laziness”, “sloppy work” etc.);
• then, those which reflect a lack of attachment to the school rules of common life (“arriving late”, “doing as one pleases”, “dissipated”);
• finally, those which reflect deficiencies in expected social and cognitive skills (“slowness”, “dreamer”, “immaturity”, “introvert”, “lack of autonomy”…).

The evocations suggest a difficulty in being oneself and in fulfilling a certain academic ideal. Lack of confidence, self-doubt, difficulty in deciding or cooperating, isolation, protective routines, the quest for self-affirmation, and tension regarding the right proximity or distance from others are all signs reflecting a fear of inadequacy.

Parental response and “choice” of homeschooling

Stunned by the occurrence of these difficulties and eager to respond as best as possible to the situation and keep their children afloat, the people interviewed will try to establish different modalities of school presence in the young person’s world. The emergence of the phobia will lead, for all the families surveyed, to a more or less long period of time away from school and entry into home education. The question that will quickly arise is that of the compatibility or not between the psychological situation of the young person and the continuation, in an alternative framework, of studies.

The continuation of schooling within the family will take various forms which depend largely, on the one hand, on the state of health of the child or adolescent and, on the other hand, on the relationship maintained with the institution at the time of the emergence of difficulties (cooperation, exchange, collaboration, trust, communication/conflict, opposition, resistance, etc.).

Home education for these young people can take different forms, more or less institutionalized: distance education via the National Center for Distance Education (CNED); school planning; mixed CNED/home education/school; home education provided by the family alone, with a fairly academic framework respecting the programs and requirements; informal mode of home education based on a “pedagogy” free of discovery and personal initiative…

The choice of homeschooling also depends on the level of parental support for rapid reintegration into school.

We note that families who wish to maintain a school framework during this rest period in order to aim for a rapid return to school have experienced relatively peaceful relations with the school and will favor formal instruction methods. Conversely, those who have experienced recurring tensions with the school will make the return to class a less essential priority and will favor less formalized home instruction (independent project-based pedagogy, individual discovery based on the child’s needs and interests, etc.).

Analyzing school refusal through the experience of parents highlights the multiple facets of this reality, which goes far beyond a simple psychological rejection of school.

This disorder reflects deep psychological and social suffering, linked to the student’s inability to adapt to contemporary academic expectations and standards. Parental responses are diverse. They all reflect a desire to protect the young person while seeking a form of balance between their well-being and educational needs. This balance is highly dependent on the parents’ previous relationships with the educational institution.

Author Bio: Christine Plasse Bouteyre is a Sociologist, lecturer-Researcher at UCLy (Lyon Catholic University)